Marriage Is When You’re Sure You Are in Love

I received an interesting question.

Question for Paul: Is it better to be married to someone who you’re not sure you are in love with or single? What if I don’t meet the perfect person for me?

Well, first let me say I have never been married. I am thirty-four. So I can’t speak with first hand knowledge of married life. But let’s jump right into this– No, it’s not better to be married to someone you don’t love or are not sure that you love. In the long run (perhaps even in the short run), you will be far happier, even save yourself misery– if you choose being a single guy– chilling out with your German Shepherd, Labrador, Bulldog, or Basset Hound, going on weekend trips, traveling, engaging in new hobbies, over living with a wife you don’t love. Don’t be desperate! You don’t want to be this guy:

Here are two things to remember:

1) Your first goal should be to be absolutely 100% content being single. You want a healthy relationship based on give and take, not to be with someone whom you use to fill an internal void.

2) If you feel that you’re not attracting the right kind of woman, it may be because you are not living the criteria that you have for her. Read my post “Mirroring the One.” Work on living in the now, enjoying each moment, and then pray to meet the right person.

Another thing to consider is getting to know a woman’s heart, mind, and soul, before you consider getting married. There’s a fifty percent divorce rate. A lot of people think they found their eternal love– at the start– and end up calling it quits: maybe someone turned into a jerk OR perhaps two people weren’t really in love but only in lust, and when that has lost its freshness, they find it difficult to share their lives with each other as complete human beings– mind, body, and soul. I think one of the worst results of this is for someone to get married and sooner or later to wake up and look at their spouse and say, “I don’t really know this person! This is a stranger next to me in my bed!”

Enjoy life, be sociable, and go to places of substance, instead of bars, to meet people– and you may find the perfect person for you when you least expect it. But don’t settle for less than love. Good luck!

La vie est belle, profitez de chaque moment

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