Five Things to Remember to Be Happy Single

1) Remember, the time when you had a girlfriend and that stunning girl came over to you and said, “Are you waiting for me?” You talked to her, but felt the moral need to mention, “I have a girlfriend.” Well, congratulations, you can leave that part out now.

2) Remember, all the times your girlfriend told you that you would grow old and wrinkled together and how much she loved you, only to forget about all that when she moved to an exotic location and called you wanting a break so she could have fun. Congratulations, on all the time you save listening to things proven false. After all, actions speak louder than words.

3) Remember, the silly argument over a movie rental. Once a girlfriend of mine–and I don’t know why, perhaps, just out of pure curiosity– wanted to rent a transvestite documentary. I didn’t want to watch that (and I don’t apologize for not wanting to), so I told her if she wanted to watch it to just rent it herself. She said, “You just don’t want it on your account history.” I said, “Yeah, you’re right, I don’t.” Congratulations, you never have to be forced into silly arguments or pressured into renting transvestite documentaries.

4) Remember, when your girlfriend would pressure you to speed up your career so you could get a house and a more stable life. Congratulations, you can mount your Rocinante and wander the world aimlessly, fighting windmills and rescuing princesses.

5) And of course remember the countless good times you had with your girlfriend (s) of times gone by, knowing that if it were meant to be, it would have lasted or you would have been reunited. If she happened to have left you, then you should thank her kindly for allowing you the possibility to meet your soul mate. Always remember the saying, “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.”

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