Mirroring the One

I’ve run into women who say, “I want a man who is smart, funny, caring, and charming,” and then you take a good look at some of them, and all they chatter about are inconsequential topics, have no real sense of humor, are insensitive, and have no genuine charm or charisma. Why would intelligent, charming, sensitive, and good-humored men even consider being in a relationship with such women? They wouldn’t! The same can be said for a lot of men. We’ve all heard of the guy in the bar, scratching his rear, expressing his desire for a classy woman, as beer runs off his chin onto his mustard stained tee-shirt. People often look for character traits in others that they haven’t cultivated in themselves.

Physical chemistry is a factor, but it is just one part of the equation. If you are feeling like you are not attracting the right person into your life, your self-esteem is low and you don’t feel good in your own skin, here are a few things to help you:

1) You are beautiful just the way God made you. Take care of your health and dress nicely, but after that, love and accept yourself, even your perceived imperfections.

2) Think about what you seek in a significant other, and ask yourself if you are living those criteria. If you say,” I can do better, I can act more intelligently, be more caring, charming, funnier,” and so forth, then you have no time to feel sorry for yourself.

3) Stop worrying about what people think of you, but instead focus on others and their feelings, hopes, and dreams.

4) Hang around people who exhibit the qualities you seek in your perfect person, and go to places that support people with those character traits. If you are an adult and actually decide to go to a bar or nightclub with the notion of meeting someone to establish a relationship, keep in mind that when it comes to non-physical factors, off the bat you have nothing in common. It’s a shot in the dark—that is, unless you are seeking someone to match your interest or love of alcohol! If so, that would be the right place to go.

If you want a good, healthy relationship, the best course of action is to work on being happy in your own skin and mind, as you strive to reach your highest potential. This will open you up to the possibilities of a relationship based on mutual understanding, respect, and admiration– instead of using another person to fill an internal void. Nobody is going to complete you, as in Jerry McGuire’s line “You complete me.” You have to complete yourself. And when you do that, you will be a happy, confident, and independent person, who can be in an enduring relationship based on give and take. Next, you should seek to develop those positive qualities that you desire in a significant other, and then you will be on the road to finding the perfect person for you.

La vie est belle, profitez de chaque moment

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